I'm going to milk the Hockey/Leave your spouse Blog one last time...
With the NHL deadline quickly approaching on March 4th, I'm gearing up for one last big playoff push. It's a doosey of trade too - the rare 7 player deal!
Due to some complaining from other members of the league (and by that I mean, my wife complained that the list had grown from a team into an entire hockey league), I needed to make room for the two I picked up in what they called a "lopsided" deal for Jennifer Nettles and Lizzy Caplan, so the deal is as follows:
My team gets Malin Akerman, Tricia Helfer
And the 80-year old dude down the street was more than happy to take:
- Renee Russo (who decided that she had enough money to tide her over until medicaid kicked in next year)
- Salma Hayek (She married some French dude)
- Lisa Edelstein (As the only jewish member of the team, she refused to take a pay cut)
- The oft-injured Mariska Hargitay,
- Gwyneth Paltrow (who was no longer a fan favorite due to the fact that she was the only one on my entire list to receive a complaint)
The cup is mine!
----------------------------------------------------
Oh yeah, I found another new band too - Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Holy Crap! Our First Injury!
For those of you just reading this blog for the first time, start at the bottom. Or at least read the previous post before this one or it won't make a damn bit of sense...
My team actually has a frickin' injury!
I'm sure that many of you found it ridiculous that I planned for just such an event, but now I'm certainly glad that I did as Mariska Hargitay has gone down with a collapsed lung!
Marisa Miller has been called up to replace her.
There was also a blockbuster trade that went down today. Jennifer Nettles and Lizzy Caplan are now part of the team. As acting commissioner of MY own fictitious league, I allowed the trade to move forward even though the other team involved received nothing more than some powdered Gatorade and a bag of pucks. What a deal! I nominate me for GM of the year!
I will also not be penalizing myself for exceeding the allowed number of roster spots. It's good to be the commish...
My team actually has a frickin' injury!
I'm sure that many of you found it ridiculous that I planned for just such an event, but now I'm certainly glad that I did as Mariska Hargitay has gone down with a collapsed lung!
Marisa Miller has been called up to replace her.
There was also a blockbuster trade that went down today. Jennifer Nettles and Lizzy Caplan are now part of the team. As acting commissioner of MY own fictitious league, I allowed the trade to move forward even though the other team involved received nothing more than some powdered Gatorade and a bag of pucks. What a deal! I nominate me for GM of the year!
I will also not be penalizing myself for exceeding the allowed number of roster spots. It's good to be the commish...
Friday, January 9, 2009
Updates and New info in 3 parts
It's been quite a while since I've posted anything (and even longer since anyone commented one), but I'm going to go ahead an put one up anyway.
First of all, as I did mention, my King of the Douchebags list is a living document and I have two new ones to add to the list.
The old #16 is now #18
The new #17 is now "Those f*#kers at SciFi that canceled Stargate Atlantis"
The new #16 is now Braylon Edwards. - 2 Reasons here - No.1 Your commercials for McDonald's and that 5 hour energy drink are nothing short of putrid and No.2 We Brown's fans don't hate you because you're from Michigan. No, we hate you because you're a whiner who's putting a giant dent in our salary cap while leading the league in dropped passes two years in a row. My 5-year-old daughter catches better than you.
After some reevaluation, Jennifer Chizmar has been moved to #3 and everyone else moves down a spot.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would also like to add to my list of bands that you simply must hear. They're called "The Blue Van" It's quality stuff.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, on to the new topic!
I wish I could remember what we were watching, but the couple was making a list of celebrities that they could leave their current spouse for with no questions asked. I thought this was pretty funny, but didn't really give it any more thought. However, a few days later my wife was listening to the "Mamma Mia" soundtrack in the car (I was apparently being punished by karma for something) and she commented over the horrible catterwalling that he (Pierce Brosnan) was on her list. That man cannot sing worth a damn, but I simply can't deny that he is an acceptable inclusion on a list such as this. She also mentioned some others that I couldn't argue with such as Sean Connery and Stephen Colbert (who might even make my list - lol). I think Harrison Ford may have been in there also, but I'm not sure - on her list, not mine.
Of course, she then inquired as to mine. I had a few thoughts, but nothing concrete. Well, having to spend 3 hours in the car yesterday getting to and from work in snow, I had allot of time to think about it. Rather than just spitting out a list though, I had to limit myself somehow and come up with some semi-respectable criteria. I finally decided it would be best to do it as a sports roster.
I thought football might be a good one, but there's so many positions to fill, 11 on Offense, 11 on Defense, 11 on Special teams and all their backups and the practice squad. That's way too many. Baseball's just a bad way to go because you'd only have 8 who play regularly, 5 who play every 5th day, a sprinkling of random relievers on no set schedule, and 5 guys who just ride the pine. On to basketball! No, I hate basketball. Plus, with it being basketball, I would feel obligated to put too many African Americans on the list just to be competitive because Halle Berry alone does not a team make. I ultimately decided on Hockey, so just go with me on this one. It will make sense - trust me!
Every good team is built around your hands-down number one Goal Tender. It's the backbone of your team and no one can question that they should be your number one go-to person, so I'm going with Carrie Underwood.
However, every team needs a steady backup goaltender. Usually an up-and-comer or a steady veteran. For this one, I have to go with the veteran in Natasha Henstridge
Your first line is your go-to money line. It's usually your three best offensive players at forward and your two best defenseman. These five are definitely Uma Thurman, Alessandra Ambrosio, Sarah Chalk, Amanda Peete, and Keira Knightly.
Your Second line is also a big scoring line. You've got couple of big name scorers who can also get the job done and usually jump in on the power play for extra scoring. For my second line, I'm going with Elizabeth Banks, Amy Adams, Jessica Alba, Ann Hathaway and Eva Green.
Your third and fourth lines are almost interchangeable, but you've always got a good mix of wily veterans and all your prospects along with a couple of those uncanny talents that scores heaps of short-handed goals on your penalty kill on your third line. Here we go:
The third line is Olivia Wilde, Rene Russo, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Winslett, and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Your fourth line tends to be the one that just get it done when you need them to. They're not the big names that everyone knows, but they're the ones who ultimately win you the championships with they're hard work and underrated performances.
The fourth line is Kristin Chenoweth, Salma Hayek, Mariska Hargitay, Lisa Edelstein (who was good enough for the third line, but I didn't want to overload it with House characters) and Giada De Laurentiis.
Of course, you always have the handful of prospects in your farm system that can be called up to fill in at a moments notice due to trades, illness, injuries, retirements or crows feet and my farm system is no differnent. At any time I'm ready to call up Olga Kurylenko, Miranda Kerr, or Marisa Miller.
I think it's like a will - everyone should have one of these lists so get to it!
First of all, as I did mention, my King of the Douchebags list is a living document and I have two new ones to add to the list.
The old #16 is now #18
The new #17 is now "Those f*#kers at SciFi that canceled Stargate Atlantis"
The new #16 is now Braylon Edwards. - 2 Reasons here - No.1 Your commercials for McDonald's and that 5 hour energy drink are nothing short of putrid and No.2 We Brown's fans don't hate you because you're from Michigan. No, we hate you because you're a whiner who's putting a giant dent in our salary cap while leading the league in dropped passes two years in a row. My 5-year-old daughter catches better than you.
After some reevaluation, Jennifer Chizmar has been moved to #3 and everyone else moves down a spot.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would also like to add to my list of bands that you simply must hear. They're called "The Blue Van" It's quality stuff.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, on to the new topic!
I wish I could remember what we were watching, but the couple was making a list of celebrities that they could leave their current spouse for with no questions asked. I thought this was pretty funny, but didn't really give it any more thought. However, a few days later my wife was listening to the "Mamma Mia" soundtrack in the car (I was apparently being punished by karma for something) and she commented over the horrible catterwalling that he (Pierce Brosnan) was on her list. That man cannot sing worth a damn, but I simply can't deny that he is an acceptable inclusion on a list such as this. She also mentioned some others that I couldn't argue with such as Sean Connery and Stephen Colbert (who might even make my list - lol). I think Harrison Ford may have been in there also, but I'm not sure - on her list, not mine.
Of course, she then inquired as to mine. I had a few thoughts, but nothing concrete. Well, having to spend 3 hours in the car yesterday getting to and from work in snow, I had allot of time to think about it. Rather than just spitting out a list though, I had to limit myself somehow and come up with some semi-respectable criteria. I finally decided it would be best to do it as a sports roster.
I thought football might be a good one, but there's so many positions to fill, 11 on Offense, 11 on Defense, 11 on Special teams and all their backups and the practice squad. That's way too many. Baseball's just a bad way to go because you'd only have 8 who play regularly, 5 who play every 5th day, a sprinkling of random relievers on no set schedule, and 5 guys who just ride the pine. On to basketball! No, I hate basketball. Plus, with it being basketball, I would feel obligated to put too many African Americans on the list just to be competitive because Halle Berry alone does not a team make. I ultimately decided on Hockey, so just go with me on this one. It will make sense - trust me!
Every good team is built around your hands-down number one Goal Tender. It's the backbone of your team and no one can question that they should be your number one go-to person, so I'm going with Carrie Underwood.
However, every team needs a steady backup goaltender. Usually an up-and-comer or a steady veteran. For this one, I have to go with the veteran in Natasha Henstridge
Your first line is your go-to money line. It's usually your three best offensive players at forward and your two best defenseman. These five are definitely Uma Thurman, Alessandra Ambrosio, Sarah Chalk, Amanda Peete, and Keira Knightly.
Your Second line is also a big scoring line. You've got couple of big name scorers who can also get the job done and usually jump in on the power play for extra scoring. For my second line, I'm going with Elizabeth Banks, Amy Adams, Jessica Alba, Ann Hathaway and Eva Green.
Your third and fourth lines are almost interchangeable, but you've always got a good mix of wily veterans and all your prospects along with a couple of those uncanny talents that scores heaps of short-handed goals on your penalty kill on your third line. Here we go:
The third line is Olivia Wilde, Rene Russo, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Winslett, and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Your fourth line tends to be the one that just get it done when you need them to. They're not the big names that everyone knows, but they're the ones who ultimately win you the championships with they're hard work and underrated performances.
The fourth line is Kristin Chenoweth, Salma Hayek, Mariska Hargitay, Lisa Edelstein (who was good enough for the third line, but I didn't want to overload it with House characters) and Giada De Laurentiis.
Of course, you always have the handful of prospects in your farm system that can be called up to fill in at a moments notice due to trades, illness, injuries, retirements or crows feet and my farm system is no differnent. At any time I'm ready to call up Olga Kurylenko, Miranda Kerr, or Marisa Miller.
I think it's like a will - everyone should have one of these lists so get to it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)